What really goes on in my life
by Ilovecookies15
Summary: Sorry I couldn't think of a better title, Iggy. You too Nudge. But I couldn't stand how you two are rarely in these stories. So I am making a little documentary, all about Ig and Nudge. yes, I really am that evil.
1. Hey, it's my life

**(A/N- I wrote this after what you know as the end of JP's third book, just took a while to post.)**

Hey all you awesome life-saving fans! It's me, Max. I've been reading a whole bunch of your little stories, and decided to do a little twist on the word 'fic' in 'fanfic' by writing a documentary of exactly what is going on in my life right now. I promise I won't backspace any thing that isn't a typo. (I know that's going to come right back at me and I'll have to keep something really embarrassing, but oh well.)

Now actually, some of your stories actually seem like they could happen…but really. I just _don't_ wear pink. And when I figured out what 'Fax' meant, (almost right after I read a story with 'FAX' written in the summary ('Mang' took me a little longer)) I banned Fang himself from the website. Smart move, Max. Now he is just eager to get this laptop back so he can blab about it in his blog. And I'm _not_ that crazy about him! In case you hadn't known, I'm not usually that sappy of a person. Oh, and another thing about your stories, (I'm helping you here!) I haven't even _tried_ to count how many people put us all in a hotel, (paying for it with the MR card) Nudge and Angel in one room, Ig and Gazzy in another, and me and Fang in the last, with only one bed! First of all, how sexist is that! And second, we don't normally live in hotels. Hint: we're bird kids on the run. Third, you can quite easily ask for a room with two beds at the front counter of a hotel! Welcome to the 21st century, people! Now Nudge is trying to se what I'm typing on _Fang's_ laptop. Here is a bit from her speech:"Wow Max, you don't like Faxness? I do! I thought it was really cool, like you should take a few romance tips from these fans (here Iggy looks over from lighting the fire) and like, I don't know, maybe all of us could! Hey, are you typing what I I'm saying! Type this then, Fang and Ma-ax, si-"(here I cover her mouth, typing this one- handed) Aargh. There's that thing I said earlier about backspacing. Oh, well. I've taken away my hand now, and she's rambling about how much you fans underestimate her cuteness and therefore ability to get a boyfriend. Gazzy is laughing at her while Ig is uncharacteristically silent. Fang is still sitting there, drawing in the dirt. I think he's in love with this computer. He is missing his true love.

Angel. Angel just told me not to be so negative. Why? Oh. I just realized that I was thinking about how Nudge will never get a chance to actually get a boyfriend, considering who we are. You know, bird kids and all.Now, if you're wondering where we are, don't. We are somewhere in Texas, in a cave, surrounded by absolutely nothing. Even with our directional senses, we can figure out o more than that. It's kind of weird, 'cause I get this buzzy feeling whenever I try to find out where we are using my inner directions. Our little cave is the only place in this area that is even slightly inconspicuous. That means we can see nothing for practically forever, and if an enemy comes, we will easily know. The enemy will also probably see us, too, even if there are other caves around here. Haven't bothered to look yet, we just set down here. Hi!!! If you are a boy fan, I'm waiting! Sorry. That was Nudge. I told her not to be too forward with it, but it was her choice. And now I can't backspace it. Oh, and Total is asleep next to Angel, who has now picked him up and is coming over to see what I'm writing. Hey! I love you all, and please come visit me in Texas! Hugs. That was Angel. She is so sweet, but so scary when she needs to be. And sometimes even when she doesn't.Now I know most of you girls are drooling over Fang, so to kick you off, I would say something, but I'm still just not quite sure what to say except for that, as you all probably know, me and him have something, so back off. Speaking of Fang, the so named has now left the cave with Ig and now they are up flying. Probably to get dinner. Poor Nudge is still trying to survive on doughnuts, apples, bread, cheese, and orange juice. Not very healthy, except for the OJ. Now that the big boys are gone, Gazzy is _very _bored, as he puts it. Sexist pig. I say so to him, and he goes to play with Angel, who was napping. Good. Now me 'n' Nudge can get some down time. Maybe we will talk about boys, maybe not. I just invited her over…Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is sooooooo cool! Me and Max are gonna talk about boys! Yay! Maybe I can get her to tell me when her and Fang's wedding is planned for? Oooooooooooooo. Now Max is gonna kill me, but I don't care! This is fun! I think we should also talk about how much I deserve a boyfriend! (sigh) If one of you is interested and you are a bo

Just cut her off. (I feel sad inside. Is she so desperate that she would settle for _you_) To answer the big question that is probably running through your mind, no I'm still around 14 or 15, and no, me and Fang are _not_ getting married anytime soon. (You should read that fanfic called _First Kiss_, it's really good.)

I just had a Nudgeified conversation, which means Nudge talks a lot, and I listen for any important bits and occasionally add in a tidbit myself to help her along one subject. I learned almost nothing, (she ended up talking mostly about me and Fang) until I prodded her on the subject of crushes. I shouldn't have asked. She gave me a huge list of almost totally random people up until just about a minute ago. (By the way, the guys are back. Completely irrelevant, but I just thought you might want to know) here is what she said, except she used more words:"…and I liked that cute guy in Arizona who was walking down below as we flew, and I think I might even like-Iggy! Fang! You're back! Did you bring any food? (she sighs) No, just meat…""Nudge, you can shut up now" Iggy in formed her with his usual charm (note the sarcasm)I think I've caught on to something here. Is there any possible romance between Iggy and Nudge? Is Iggy's heart capable of wanting anything but fire and explosions? (not that way, you sexist pig) How long has Nudge kept this secret? Can Nudge possibly settle for one love, Iggy? I decide to investigate. But now Fang is asking for the computer, so you'll just have to wait until the next chapter I write. (Nudge wants to write the next chapter, but don't worry, I've made her take the backspace vow) See ya!


	2. And I need your help

Yes, this is what everyone hates. The evil author's note. Yeah. Well, all I want to know is if I should continue blabbing about my life. So if you have just read my first chapter, then please, review. The button doesn't bite! (I've seen that line so many times, I was starting to think there was a rule for it.)

Now for the details:

I love fire, so kill me in the review.Tell me if I should update or not.Give me ideas for a sticky situation. (eg. If someone I'm talking about is coming over…beat them up!)Include something random (I just love randomness)

DON'T bug me about how hot anyone is. I DON'T want to know.DON'T tell me that Nudge likes Iggy. I already guessed. (Nudge just fought with me over the backspace button for about a minute. For crying out loud, it's not like it isn't obvious!)DON'T be formal in your answer. It annoys me to no end.

Now ready, set, REVIEW!!!! (another common one)


	3. Nudge in love

HI! It's me, Nudge! Wow. The computer just did, like, THREE spell check thingys! This is soooooooooooo cool! I'm actually writing my own story! I can't wait to tell you _all_ about me and my life! Max told me to not put it all in one paragraph, so I'm gonna have try to separate it out. I can't have Max do it, 'cause I wanna add a few non-max-rated thingys. P! Anyway, there are, like soooooo many seeeeeeeecrets and juicy stuff about Max and Fang. Heheheehehehehehehe! Yeah. Soooooo, right now Angel is sitting next to me

Hi!!! I love you, and thanks for helping us save the world!

Hehe. That was her. Max is out with Fang, trying to find out where we are again, and Gazzy and Iggy are right outside the cave, making some bomb thingy or other.

When I was telling Max about my crushes, I think she might have caught my hint about Iggy. It's not like I don't want her to know, about it, it's just that he was standing right _there_ and…ya. I do want Max to know so she can help me with it. (giggles)

I wonder how Max and Fang are doing? Max and Fa-ang in a flying spree/K-I-S-S-I-N-G/First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes… well, nothing. I don't think I would want a baby sister or brother other than Angel and Gazzy. Besides, that would just be one more bird kid to put stress on Max. I don't want Max to be stressed, because I love her. I need her.

Enough sentiments, let's move on to the present. I have no idea how many spell-checks have been done in the past few lines I wrote. A lot. Whatever. Since when does the word whatever have an 'h' in it! WTH! Max makes me say that instead of WTF. Watever.

OMG!!!! Iggy just took off his shirt!!!! OMG!!! Wat the hell is he thinking!!! He is so damn HOTT!!!!! Argh. Dumb Backpace Vow Max mad me take. (Don't worry, I moved Angel away looong ago.) Iggy. Grr. I think right now, I have the biggest crush on him ever. No, not because he took his shirt off. Wow. I just felt like something changed inside me. My stomach growled. That wasn't it.

_I feel so quiet now, but a love burns deep inside of me_

_-anonymous_

Max next chapter.


	4. Max thinks Nudge is funny

Hey guys and gals, it's your favorite, Max again! Yipee! I have some really juicy things about the whole Nudge and Iggy situation…

So. Just recently, about midday, me and Fang went out (not that way, you sexist pig) to try and figure out where we were. I let Nudge use the computer while we were gone. Fang gave me an annoyed face, and I teased him about being in love with his computer, and he looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. He just gave me a weird look and continued flying. He then commenced to offer only one- to two-word sentences for the rest of the day.

When we got back after no luck, he immediately started to go towards his beloved computer, but I saw how happy Nudge was and made him entertain Angel, even though she was quite happy playing with Celeste and Total in the back of the cave. Lol.

I sat down by Nudge for a while, but she didn't seem to notice I was there. I was too scared to look at what she was writing, so I followed her eyes instead. She was staring at Iggy and Gazzy making an M80. Those are the kind of firecracker that don't look like anything at all, just make a ton of noise. Ig and Gazzy often use them to scare the shit out of birds. Literally.

Then I had a brilliant idea.

It was so funny and cute! I went over to Iggy and started blabbing about how hot it was. Fang was over there too and he took his shirt off. Distracting. But I managed to continue, and Iggy took his shirt off, too. Now, us being genetically modified and all, all the boys had pretty refined (meaning 6-pack) chests. What fun for me and Nudge.

I dragged Fang off the scene with the excuse of "I'm hungry, let's go get some food." Then I told him the real reason (to watch Nudge's reaction to the shirt thing) and he smiled. More distraction. JP never mentioned this, but when Fang smiles, it is a very slow process. His lips curve up and his eyes crinkle a bit, but he never shows his teeth. Cute. The area lit up a little more, if that's even possible in the Texas sun.

I managed to tear my eyes away from his face, and looked at Nudge. She was hilarious! If her mouth hung any lower, it would hit the cave floor! Iggy was oblivious to this, still working on his cracker, concentrated as ever. Nudge randomly typed a few lines on the computer, then she sat back, a funny look on her face. I think she FINALLY realized what it means to actually have a crush.

Iggy stood up and stretched his wings, happy to have an excuse to open them. Nudge practically fainted. She typed one last line on the computer, got up, and started to fly figure-eights. Angle, Gazzy, Total and me shaded our eyes to look up at the sky, awestruck. None of us but Nudge could do really good figure-eights, and Fang was quite envious of that. Gazzy elbowed Iggy and said something. Iggy smiled, a genuine smile, and got back to work on the M80.

I took a beeline for the computer while Fang acted grumpy. Now here I am, typing up this chapter. Yeah. Fang is standing at the front of the cave, flexing his wings, basking in the sun and sulking. Angel is playing fly-tag with Total and Nudge, and Iggy is pestering me for permission to set off his finished M80. I just told him to bug off, and Gazzy came over. I caved in. I knew that they would just keep on bugging me until I let them.

I just had another great idea.

I told Gazzy to go get Iggy.

Ig came, and I said "S, go get Gazzy"

Gazzy came, and I said "U, go get Iggy"

Iggy came, and I said "R, go get Gazzy"

Gazzy came…etc.

I ended up spelling out the sentence: "sure you can, but far away"

Smart as we are, they are still trying to figure out what I told them. Hope it takes them a while. Fang was watching the whole time, and he figured out what I told them. He smirked, and I playfully punched him on the arm with the warning not to help them along.

I just felt something…

OMG we are in Dallas! For some reason, my directional senses just cleared up. Not that I'm complaining, but it just seems weird.

I just asked Fang if the same happened to him. He said no. I asked the rest of the Flock and got the same answer. No. Hmmm, weird.

Grr. Jeb just talked to me, using the Voice. _Max, take advantage of the situation._

_I just did, you imbecile._

_Max, this is serious. Think about it. Dallas._

_Yeah, Dallas. Thinking. _

I am thinking about it. Let's brainstorm together, shall we? Hmmm. Dallas. Well, I'ts in Texas, A big city, oh. Maybe there's something in the city that Jeb wants us to find…

_Bingo, Max._

_Well why didn't you just say that, then?_

_You need to exercise your brain, Maximum._

_Nice. Why didn't you give me back my directional senses earlier then?_ Dumb Jeb. If he really wanted me to do something, he should just let me do it!

_That wasn't me, Max. Go to Dallas._


End file.
